The rainbow of friends.
I used to write a lot poems and short stories when I was in school. As all kids, who think that they have in them, to become writers or poets. Nonsense writings but somehow they used to be appreciated by a few people giving me a sense of importance and pride. But then I never progressed beyond a certain limit.
But then as i joined Medical school I realised I was ill-prepared to survive in the big bad world. Though I was a prime fish in my pond, now I had entered a huge ocean. And the total change in academic atmosphere and the culture overwhelmed me. Going through the traumatic Ist year, the breezy second year and the taut third year, was monotonous, laborious and tough. But along that journey I was extremely lucky to find some great fellow travelers and became friends with them. Finding them was effortless. Like standing in ankle deep waters on the sea shore and finding pearls in oyster shells, washed at my feet by the waves.
How we became friends, there’s really no explanation and we never searched for it. We just clicked. Maybe it was destiny which brought us together or just the randomness of the universe. But then who gives a thought in those moments. One just relishes it, like raindrops that fall on your face when least expected. Like a hike on an unknown trail where the path and the scenery somehow seems oddly familiar, like one had been there before, on that exact path yet cannot recollect when.
Everyone has friends but I cannot think of better friends than what I had and still have. And they came in all varieties. tall and short, dark and fair, thin and rotund ones, silent and talkative, saturnine and smily faces, and so on. Some were sincerely studious, some flamboyant, some highly sophisticated, some introverts, some extroverts, some mischievous and some who could not be slotted anywhere, the rare gems. Everybody had a talent, a bright side to their personality and they brought it with them to our circle. In the process enriching the lives of the whole group. Life was beautiful. Like a rainbow of multi-coloured hues. We shared our passions and desires. If somebody wanted to go to movies we all used to go with him. If somebody wanted to eat out everybody followed. If somebody had an urge to booze everybody followed. And if somebody wanted to embark on a midnight trip to nowhere, everybody was game for that also. Our lives suddenly changed from monochrome to multi-coloured. And our horizons widened across the whole 360 degrees.
During all this we also genuinely cared for each other, helped when help was required. Sometimes a pat on the shoulder, a tap on the chest, a gentle hug or a just an understanding look on the face would do wonders and let the spirits soaring high in the sky. We longed to sit and chat in the corridor in front of our hostel rooms. Topics could be from politics to movies and from profound to inane. Where a lot of resolutions were also made, to be broken just on the next day.
We may not have been great academic successes. But we were a talented bunch. We had a lot many of other interests, to be solely focused on studies. Study we did. But only when it was absolutely necessary. But then we worked our assess off and achieved the minimum required. Some scored more, some less. But then that was never a topic of discussion. And never did the feelings of envy touch us in any way. Neither did vanity.
Through all this fun and joy there were no excesses. We knew our boundaries. We knew our limits. And that mix of enjoyment and hard-work, focus and relaxation, innocence and maturity and playfulness and responsibility was extremely important in my development as a human being. It has been the foundation on which our later lives have been built. It has taught me, not only to survive but to enjoy survival.
But life sometimes takes you by a surprise. And you become part of a movie wherein the script is not yours and the director is someone else. Life then becomes a roller coaster ride. Enjoyable at times scary at others. Sometimes our individual gambles worked and sometimes our well thought plans went awry. But life’s treadmill gave no time to relax and reflect. One just kept reacting to the situations. Running endlessly and climbing higher and higher, for a better view of the world. A few years later kids arrive, parents become old and responsibilities start bogging you down. You have to pay the bills, pay the salaries of your staff, arrange for loans, pay the monthly instalments of various loans, etc., etc.,., You still do, what you have to do for your profession. You put in hours of hard work and endure lack of sleep. But the fun slowly starts fading and life becomes dull and routine. It’s like flowing along with the dull flow of the river. Doing what others are doing. Striving for possessions that others have. And aiming for higher positions that few others have achieved.
In all this process a good 10-15 years are lost. You are surrounded by the same bunch of people everyday. Who expect a lot from you yet not really making an effort to understand you. Monotony sets in. Like an ant which follows the ant ahead of it, we start following someone ahead of us, in matters of buying a house, decorating it, choosing the kids schools, going on vacations, accumulating possessions, etc. Blissfully unaware of where it is leading us to.
Regimented into a life I didn’t bargain for, I further lost my love of reading and writing. And I kept on thinking of it as an useless exercise. All mind games. And totally non-productive. In all this process, I lost almost a decade. Was not in touch with my rainbow of friends. I wanted to, but the tough conditions, geographical distances and tight routine somehow suppressed that hearts desire.
And then the river of life, in it’s torturous and turbulent journey somehow dropped me through a huge roaring waterfall. And when I raised my face above the bubbly waters for a breath of air, I saw the rainbow again. The rainbow of all dear friends. It was a great relief connecting with them again. Felt that I won’t be accepted as I was away for a long time. But no. It was just like old times. Felt alive again after a long time. The child in my woke up with a glee. The same exuberance, playfulness and deviousness came back in an instant. And then I started irritating my friends again. Irritating with my jabbering, irritating with my toxic comments and pulling everybody’s legs.
Just being on a Whatsapp group with friends, felt like instantaneously transported to those old days. We now chat everyday. Some friends occasionally, some frequently but yes, there is always a chatter going on in the group. We do meet one in a while, every time hoping that it could be more frequent. Creating a boisterous cacophony wherever we meet which though sounds melodious Not all come but then we understand their difficulties.
In a life full of duties and responsibilities. In striving to fulfil the desires of our near and dear ones. In trying to follow the customs and rituals of our respective families and communities. And in trying to make a living. We neglect ourselves. Our sense of duty and responsibility towards others makes us forget that we ourselves also need some attention. Need some relaxation. Need some peace. Sometimes we just need to lie down at night under the open sky and gaze at the stars with a blank mind. But we don’t grant that favour to ourselves.
I feel that we need to drop our masks and our pretensions. We need to be just ourselves. We need to be stripped naked from all the layers of conditioning that we have accumulated over the years. And that is possible only with the rainbow of our friends. A place where one doesn’t have to pretend. One can be oneself and still be loved and kicked in equal measure.
Being in touch has helped me in many ways. It has restored my sanity. And my love for life. And I have started my nonsense writings again.
Let everybody find, meet and reconnect with their friends again. And recreate their rainbow under the sky.
