Prejudices and how to control or minimise them

Am I prejudiced. Do I have a lot of biases. The answer to both the above questions is an emphatic yes. I am no different from the rest. I do have a lot of prejudices and biases. Have got rid of a lot of them and even acquired new ones in my travels and travails in life. I have evolved in my life by responding to people and situations like all other human beings. Making new opinions after each minor or major crisis that are part and parcel of life. Sometimes these anecdotal opinions which are soft and malleable, harden into prejudices and biases. Which may be further entrenched in the overall thought process as belief systems.

So what kind of biases and prejudices can one have.

1. Whites are racist

2. People of colour are not civil or are less endowed with intelligence.

3. Religious prejudices. Like all Muslims are terrorists. Or all Christian’s are conquerors and evangelists.

4. It could be as simple as a struggling new coworker about whom you are prejudiced because of his or her unsureness and lack of confidence. Or because of their background. Though he or she may not be anything like the image you have conjured of them.

5. This could also be about a new neighbour

6. Or a new shopkeeper, new teacher, new mayor or new management at work place.

7. Older people are prejudiced towards youngsters and vice versa.

8. Men are prejudiced against women and vice versa.

9. In India there are more prejudices which are added to colour and religious prejudices. They are caste, region, language, affluence and educational status related prejudices.

10. There are many more prejudices, that even the readers can identify.

Question is how do prejudices and biases affect us

1. They don’t let one see the real and correct picture, in its totality

2. They affect our handling of people and issues

3. Complicates our relationships at work place and large with the society.

4. In the process reducing our productivity

5. And importantly prevent us from enjoying and experiencing life as it is. Conversely it’s gets us pathetically floundering in multiple versions of life, coloured by a number of prejudices.

What can we do to avoid being prejudiced.

1. Revisiting interactions and issues which may be affected by prejudice

2. This can be easily done by introspection.

Lao Tzu said it best.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”

The Lost Art and skill of Introspection: Why You Must Master it Yourself

Sometimes you feel you have erred in your interactions or in handling of some issues. And that your prejudices have played an important part in that.

Today we’re so wrapped up in a culture of working round the clock and acquiring new possession at a rapid pace, that we have no down time to sit and reflect on our thoughts. This constant cycle of doing even plagues us in our sleep. The moment you open your eyes in the morning your mind starts racing and the cycle begins again. The potent distractions of the modern world won’t leave one with even a single free moment from your conditioned and prejudices thoughts.

We have over 50,000 thoughts a day, over half are negative and over 90% are just repeating from the day before. That doesn’t help us much.

Introspection and reflection are all about getting to know yourself at the core, uncovering your values and then deciding for yourself if I had erred in handling people and issues. Did my prejudices come in to play in my handling. Then ask the question, what could have been the best action that could be taken. You take the power away from the way you’ve been conditioned by your prejudices, bringing your focus of control back to how itv should be.I.e., unprejudiced.

How to initiate the process of introspection

Make Some Room For Yourself

The following steps can be done anywhere but, it’s best if you build routines around them. Start small and do your best to build the habit of introspection into your life.

1. Create Quiet Space

This can come in many forms. For some it may be taking a quiet walk through the woods. For others, it might be grabbing a cup of tea and sitting at the table. For some, it might even be taking a few extra moments to lie in bed in the morning. The crucial element is to make sure no one is going to interrupt you.

2. Ask Deep Open Ended Questions

Now that you’ve created this space for yourself. Make sure it’s very peaceful and relaxing for you. If it helps take a few deep breaths. Really try to follow your breath, in and out. Let the sensations lull you into a relax state. Once you’re there now comes the fun part, the exploration.

Use the following questions if you’d like:

• Was my handling of coworkers right.

• Was my method of handling of issues, right

• Were the both above free from any tiny prejudices.

• Of my interactions were affected by my prejudices then what would have been the right way.

• What can I do to correct the situation

• What can I do to prevent my decision and actions completely free from prejudice

• Finally what are What are my deepest values?

• Do I need to modify my value system so that it aligns with the unprejudiced and unbiased activity and interactions.

That should be enough to get you started. Ultimately the real fun comes when you begin to craft your own. If you want to start digging with your own questions, just start by asking yourself “what would I love to know more about?” Give yourself permission to roam. Remember you are just trying to uncover what you really are.

3. See What Comes Up With No Judgement

Make sure you hold your heart and mind wide open to any potentials that may arise. If this is one of your first times doing this you may be shocked or amused with what you find. Remember, nothing is to outlandish, don’t judge whatever comes out. It’s all a part of you. Sometimes there are parts of ourselves that haven’t been given time to shine.

When you start to give yourself space, the deeper passionate and playful parts of yourself all seize the moment and do whatever they can to come out. Enjoy the ride, and hold space

4. Take Notes

This can be done either mentally or with pen and paper in hand. It makes it easier to track themes that keep occurring and gives you something to look back on. It all depends on the situation.

Sometimes you can ponder over one of these questions while walking around in the woods, letting your thoughts drift and the insights come and go.

5. Reflect and Repeat

After you’ve gone through this process let it sit with you and see how it feels. The more often you ask yourself these questions the more clarity you’ll get. Think of it as practice. You’ll never become a master of your craft if you only do it once or twice.

As Mark Twain once said “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

The frog is that one thing you have on your to-do list that you have absolutely no motivation to do and that you’re most likely to procrastinate on. Eating the frog means to just do it, otherwise the frog will eat you meaning that you’ll end up procrastinating it the whole day.

Once that one task is done, the rest of the day will be an easier ride and you will get both momentum and a sense of accomplishment at the beginning of your day.

©️ShashikantDudhgaonkar